The all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world

Allow me to take this moment to say, screw Mark Driscoll. Screw him, his hipster jeans, and his hipster church.

Now, dear readers, you're probably wondering what has brought about such intemperate expression from your humble blogger. If you are wondering, you probably haven't read this article in the New York Times Magazine last Sunday. You see, Mr. Driscoll is cool. He cusses. He dresses in skull t-shirts and watches UFC. Oh, and did I mention he's a preacher? You see, Mr. Driscoll is trying to save the world from what he refers to as "'a Richard Simmons, hippie, queer Christ,' a 'neutered and limp-wristed popular Sky Fairy of pop culture that . . . would never talk about sin or send anyone to hell.'"

Mark Driscoll's Jesus

No, Mr. Driscoll's God is all man; he's said on occasion that he can't believe in a God that he could beat up. You see, Mark Driscoll is a neo-Calvinist, which means he believes in predestination. Nothing us mere mortals could ever do would change God's mind about who goes to heaven or hell—God decided that long before we ever got here. God not only cures your cancer, but he also gives you cancer. Mr. Driscoll's God is, in short, kind of a dick.

Of course, Mr. Driscoll (and his God) have no real use for women or gays, either.But that's not what gets me angry. Misogyny and homophobia, while dismaying, are not all that surprising when it comes to preachers. No, what really upsets me is that this guy is worshiping Tyler Durden from Fight Club. To read this guy's public statements and to watch his videos, it's like he read Palahniuk's book and missed the irony (not the first time that's happened—see, e.g., BYU's fight clubs). Quick lesson, boys and girls: Tyler Durden was not the hero of that particular story. While Tyler's critique of decadent, consumerist society may appeal to many (I think it is inspired), his solution was to destroy civilization. Likewise, Mr. Driscoll replaces Jesus with a badass cage fighter who doesn't let people choose hell, but actively chooses it for them, and randomly saves people because, f— you, he's God, he doesn't have to explain s— to you. This is just another example of post-modern nihilism and Christianism meeting around the flip side. Like I said in my earlier post on Armageddon, these people aren't Christians. They're wolves at the gates. I believe that the ideas of liberal civilization can defeat all comers, but we have to actively defend liberalism to succeed.