Aware of all internet traditions, vol. 1: Zero Wing

The internet can be a scary place, dear readers. Sometimes, a trip through the series of tubes can be like visiting a foreign country (why do these cats talk in broken English?). That's why I feel a certain obligation to you, my adoring public, to try to help you interpret and navigate the world-wide web. Without further ado, our first lesson:

And the techno remix:

For great justice . . .